its saddening,


i went home, and PTL! my papa gave me $20 extra. i was happy! my mum saw it and why why why again she nagged. ok, nagging is alright with me. but its just the words and tone she used, it sounded as though i'm a rebellion kid who spends money on endless things. in the past one month, i didn't even get any new piece of clothes! just a belt, a lip balm, cd for sy, teen vougue and some stuffs here and there.the rest are on food, and i don't go places like swensens, jack's place, carls junior. then i raised my voice, "I'm going for an interview on monday, am going to get a job!"

my papa, watching his tv, not in this whole"commotion" then scolded me, and sorry, it was my fault to raised my voice.

took a shower, and wanted to use the com. my brother, just watched his late night sunday movie wanted to off the com and i answered that i want to use it for a while.
"why are you so troublesome?"he said, in a real attitude tone. then a conversation between a sleepy guy and women with stomach cramp started.

"you are so privilege to have the com in your room." (ME)

"no one asked you to come home at this late hour."(B)

"then, how bout you. you get to use it anytime you want right."(ME)

"i'll use it when you're not around."(B)

" when you want to use the com, i'll compromise with you" (ME)

silence

"nvm, you're still LUCKY to have it in you room"(ME)

i shut down the computer, and he just went back to sleep. ok, i don't get my brother. i'll be talking to him when ever i've the chance to, buying him sth. sometimes, he's great. really GREAT.he gave me a piece of paper on my b-day last year. with just " Happy Birthday :)" written on foolscap paper and blue marker ink. i was so happy and appreciative of that and pin this up on my wall. but why is he so attitude at times, towards the people around him, hurting them unknowingly. you just can't feel love from this fellow.


i bought a famous amos cookie lolly for my mum last week. she said she doesn't know where to start biting, and couldn't bear to eat it up. i opened the fridge just now, the lolly is still there. but it had been a week, i know she's busy and doesn't have time to snack.it just gave me the feeling that my mum doesn't want to touch the lolly and doesn't like it, which i know it isn't true.



phew, time for another prayer meeting.